They told me, “ keep yourself safe. Never stand up for yourself, change your name to gutless if you can because that’s the only way you can avoid trouble. Confrontation should not be part of you. Only speak when you are spoken to. At your place of work let the men do most of the work because you are fragile and can handle only so much. It’s totally okay to sit back and accept being bullied because you should be just like the Proverbs 31 woman”.
They told me,” don’t be fashionable because your clothes, makeup and jewellery are distracting, wear rags and conceal your gracefulness lest a man falls into temptation because of how good and confident you look. Don’t be a slay queen because by definition a slay queen is young and naive girls who apparently do not date broke men. They spend hours on Snapchat and Instagram showing off things they don’t even own. So If I’m tagged a slay queen I need to review my life and my choices because a slay queen is dumb and only knows how to slay her looks and nothing else. So I’m expected to walk around without earring, without makeup, wrapped up in clothes that are to even good enough to light up a child’s face and trust me when a child says you look awful you really do. And I do all these because I want to be just like the Proverbs 31 woman”.
They told me,’ be submissive to your husband but by submission they meant to be a doormat, let the man who is supposed to provide for you and protect you trample on you, let him use his masculinity to overshadow your thoughts and decisions, you should not have a voice because everything that concerns you now lies in the hands of that man. Did he hit you? Go back to him and apologize, don’t worry about the scars on your back and the tears flowing down your face. Go back to him and if there’s something you’re doing to make him hit you atop it and serve him right because a Proverbs 31 woman is submissive and if her husband hits her, it’s her fault.
Yes, I am the Proverbs 31 woman and but I am so much more.
I am a woman created by God in his own image to fulfil a purpose.
I am Mary, mother of Jesus, a willing servant, trusting God and ready to answer his call.
I am Ruth, I have complete faith in God and I will not allow my past and pain to hold me back because I am brave.
I am Esther, ready and willing to sacrifice myself for my people but I have to look fabulous in my crown and royal garments while at it, a little bit of makeup and some perfume so my king can welcome me into his presence even without his permission.
I am Elizabeth, I know and believe that my barrenness is not because I am not loved by God and I know that his plans always work for my good.
I am Deborah, a wife, a warrior and a counsellor, Super¬-woman.
I am the Proverbs 31 woman, a woman who is spiritual, intelligent and virtuous. I am more precious than rubies and pearls and I am worth more than the latest iPhone or Maserati. I am a comforter. I work with my hands willingly, I am a nurturer, I create, I build, I am prudent and ready for any God-given task, I am strong and wise, I am elegant and beautiful,
I am a child of God,
I am filled with the Holy Spirit,
I am a Woman.