So lately, I have had a change in pace and life as well and it’s been great; mostly. It is for this reason that I took a brief break from writing. Well, I always sort of knew this stuff but I have only just started to accept them. So a couple of my next posts will touch on two lessons I have had to learn really quickly over the past month. My thoughts may sound all over the place so bear with me as it will hopefully all make sense soon.
Life is not always black and white. There are a lot of gray areas and even though we are forced to pick a side most of the time, it is absolutely possible to believe in two contradicting ideas because it is possible that they are true. Let me give you an example: was colonization terrible? Yes! But were there benefits of the westernization it brought? Yes. Acknowledging these truths does not mean that we should bend the rules or excuse bad behavior (I will touch more on this next week). It doesn’t mean that you are excusing the horrors of colonization. Never. But you are also recognizing that having access to antibiotics and shoes and clothes to name a few has helped us all. I think being able to hold two truths also helps us to interact better with people. It improves and makes conflicts easier. In other words, it helps you to not let being in your feelings turn into selfish stupidity. Again, we will talk about this more soon.
No matter what people think, no matter the expectations your family may have for you, no matter what culture and society demands, it is YOUR life. YOURS. So live it to your heart’s content in agreement with God’s will. If you grew up in Nigeria like me, your first thought after reading a statement like that would be ‘in whose house?’ or ‘in this Nigeria?’ and I understand. But please permit me to tell you that it’s not completely right or fair. We all have a responsibility to honor our families and culture but within reason. That honor does not mean giving up your dreams and life. It is also equally important that we do not hinder others from living their own lives. We should also encourage others to make their own decisions and stop having selfish expectations of them. If your mother spent the better part of her life passing up opportunities just for her family, please encourage her to do what she wants. We just get so comfortable with things that we don’t bother to find out how or why they came about. All I’m trying to say is, do not be pressured into making decisions you for sure know you will regret just because you are expected to. Ask questions. I know it is easier said than done but most times, we don’t try to push back so we cannot tell what will actually happen.
Once I acknowledged these lessons, a change began in me. It may do the same for you if you allow it. For me, it has been freeing for the most part and honestly, I’m still figuring it out and trying to pray through it as well. It’s just that I have noticed that most Gen Zs I have crossed paths with for the past couple of years are just going with the flow. Having the ‘it’s just the way it is’ mentality and I wonder, where is the curiosity? The hunger for more. I really want to hear your thoughts on this. Please comment below 🙂