I have a crush on you. I don’t believe this is the type that lasts a few seconds or the one that comes in a rush fading adrenaline-like energy. No, this is huge, this is the longest and cheesiest kind of crush I’ve had in a while and honestly, admitting this comes with a little bit of shy shame coursing through my entire body. You snuck beneath every wall in me and broke down every guard I put up to guard my heart. Well done, you I am now defenceless.
I should be upset but I’m not, why? What is wrong with me?
I remember the first time I saw you. I remember my thirteen-year-old self pondering how someone could be so amazing? You barely noticed me that day as you played with our mutual friend. I didn’t mind. I was perfectly okay with just staring at you from a distance. You were absolutely gorgeous.
Ten years later and I’m still crushing hard. This is not to say that that I have liked only you all this time. There has been Linda, Chioma, Amaka and Farida, but each time I see you, my heart reminds me that you are the one that it wants. There is something about your gait that makes watching you the most interesting thing in the whole world. You were my first crush. In my first years of puberty when I had no idea of what life was and I have not fallen this hard since then. The thought of you has wrecked me completely.
I remember stalking you. I spent four hours going through your social media pages and you would not believe it but I was having the time of my life. I saw all two hundred of your Instagram posts. Down to the very first one. You’re so beautiful.
There’s not a part of you that is not beautiful and as I say this I know that social media is deceptive and you only post the great pictures but you do not have even one bad picture – how is that possible? How is it possible that your every picture leaves me in a breathtaking wonder of the beauty that you are. You’re flawless.
I have loved one girl for the better part of my life. You, Ronke, you are that girl and no other comes close for me no matter how hard I try and trust me, I have tried.
God must have had a field day when he made you and although your beauty is the type that’ll keep astrologers in awe for days wondering how you manage to outshine the stars, it’s not just your beautiful face that really gets me. There is something about you that I can’t explain but it somehow manages to turn me upside down every time I as much as think about you. You’re super special.
Do you know how long I’ve been on your case? (Well, in my heart of course)
One day, I hope to find the courage to tell you to your face that you Ronke, are the one I want to be mine forever. I want to wake up next to you and marvel at how the sunset pales in comparison to your beauty, about how your laughter sends my heart into a frenzy, your smile hits me in my chest every time. I hope that one day, I finally find the courage to tell you about how I think. No, sorry, I know, that I’m in love with you. Always have, always will be in love with you.
by Oreva Ode-Irri